Cold Reality, Warm Embrace
by Sky's Song
Summary: I broke down, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. I was grateful for Inuyasha’s warm hands as they gently, if hesitantly, pulled me into his chest. I suddenly didn’t care what was true or fantasy—he was there for me and that was all I needed. InuKag.


_Cold Reality; Warm Embrace_

A One-Shot by Sky's Song

Cold reality hit me as I reached the bottom of the well.

I couldn't run. I wasn't _supposed_ to run. I was supposed to fight.

All I had thought about while there was running away from it all… all the yelling and the fighting and the pitiful tears that I had been ignoring all year as I stayed in a world that wasn't mine. And now that I reached it… how was I to know that it wasn't to be my last time?

Quickly, I climbed to the top of the well that connected my time to Inuyasha's and turned around at the top to jump back. But then, I stopped in fear.

"I should go back." I told myself, hoping to convince the fear gripping my body to lessen its hold. Tears brimmed my eyes as I realized I didn't want to. I had just seen a side of my mother that I had never seen before. She had been filled with sadness and anger and—what scared me more than anything—fear. How could I go back to that? It brought fear to me more than any demon ever could.

"I should go back…" I tried again, even less sure than I was before. But I had left Souta there, amidst a world he also had never seen! How selfish was I to leave my brother immersed in that environment when I had made my own get-away? Why would I ever do that?

"Because I am afraid." I whispered to myself. As if these words had broke my last argument, I immediately turned around and hugged myself to the well's edge, my feet dangling beneath me as I release the nook I had stood on. In my mind, I begged the scratchy wood to keep me there, anchored to the world, and still separate from it. I knew that if I stayed here, however, I'd eventually have to tell the others the truth. I balked at the thought.

What would they say? How would they react? Could I _really_ leave them forever?

…And, what about Inuyasha?

I knew what _he_ would do. He'd declare that his _jewel-shard detector_ would stay here forever then. I'd never see my family again. "It's not like he'd care for any other reason!" I cried out angrily, pounding my fist into the wood. "Well it's too bad!" I yelled at no one. "I have to stay with my family…They need me… to help them…" My voice grew quieter and quieter as I spoke. But how could I just _leave_ this world? It had become as much as my home as the Shrine was, and sometimes, even my sanctuary, like it was now. It took me away from the horrible truths of my old world, just as my old world took away the bitter facts of this one. I could always be sure that I could cry in my mother's arms if things went bad here, and hide here if things got too tough over there. And now… I wouldn't have that. My carefully fabricated life between worlds would diminish.

Now I could feel the salty tears streaking down my cheeks, leaving cold and wet lines on my face. My eyes were just as suddenly and surprisingly overwhelmed by an image of my future without my sanctuaries. Without Mama, and without Inuyasha.

My nails bit into the wood of the well, splinters nicking and embedding themselves in my flesh. Blood trickled as I slowly started to sob from the pain of reality, and nothing but the trees' silence greeted me. The stars above smiled sadly at me as I continued to sob without sound, apologizing for being so bright as my life continued to grow dim. They were so cold and so far away when they had once been sign of peace and acceptance, especially when I had stargazed with Inuyasha. That time was gone now.

I buried my head in my arms as they continued to hold me in my spot on the well. I didn't want to face reality.

Then, the air tensed up, and an eerie sound entered the air. I recognized it at once. Kikyo.

I saw her soul-stealing demons enter the clearing, and in desperation, I ducked back into the well, only the tips of my bloody and pale fingers revealing my position. I could feel her cold and scrutinizing eyes scan the area, as if she sensed my presence like I did her. They passed over my hiding spot, lingered, and moved on. She continued to walk away lonely but for her soul demons. I was glad because I had suddenly become aware of how I looked—pathetic and weak, pink pajamas torn and dirty from my haste to leave my home, face tear-streaked, hair messy, and a dripping nose. I ducked my head into my arms in shame. I could never compare to the calm and always composed Kikyo. I could never live up to a dead woman, as much as I liked to deny it. But, I was glad that she did not have the chance to rub my nose in the fact that she had control over the hanyou I loved more than anything once again. Kikyo would be the one thing from this world I would have no problem leaving. Blood dripped down my arms as the well cut into me again.

I started to bring myself up to the wells edge again after a few long minutes, knowing that she was well gone by now, but stopped as I realized something. I heard something running through the bushes… I tried very hard to listen to what the careless creature was—incase it was a demon I needed to escape from—when I saw a flash of red. A red coat to be specific and it was on the verge of breaking through the trees. Kikyo had led him to me!

_Inuyasha!_

Once more, I dropped below the view of an outsider, hiding in the well. How could I let him see me like this? Especially since it was obvious he was off to find _Kikyo_, and not _me_. Better let the hanyou go after the love of his life….of every life.

I heard him running carelessly in his haste to go after Kikyo, and the wind brushed against me on this still night as he jumped over the well. I glanced up to see his eyes fixed on a point in the distance. I lowered my own eyes as continued on his way. No, of course he wouldn't have looked down to see me. I was only a reincarnation, a shard detector.

I climbed back up once again, thinking this time I might allow myself to sit in front of the well, as I was sure that Inuyasha and Kikyo wouldn't come back this way. Another tear slid down my cheek._ Inuyasha wouldn't care if you were gone at all._ A voice told me._ He could just get Kikyo, couldn't he?_

I didn't bother denying it. Not this time. Why not add another misery on top of all the others?

I sat on the lip of the well, sighing as I gave my arms a break from the strain I had put on them in the last few minutes. I examined the clearing around me. Was this goodbye? Would I never see this old and crumbling well again? Or the thinning grass, the start of the forest, the Sacred Tree, which was hidden beyond the vegetation? The stars in the sky which were only visible here? The clear air, the hikes, and the hot springs? Shippou, Sango, Miroku…Inuyasa?

I stopped my examination of the clearing as I realized something. Inuyasha…Inuyasha. He was standing_ right there_. Looking right at me.

"Kagome?" he asked in confusion. He glanced down at my hands where drying trails of blood lay.

_Damn it, he must have caught my scent! How could I forget his damn demon senses? He probably smelled my blood the moment he jumped over the well._

A part of me rejoiced that he had stopped his search of Kikyo to see if I was really there, but the other part of me was more realistic.

_Now you have to say goodbye._

_No!_ I screamed internally. _I can't handle this!_ I didn't want him to know that I was weak and pathetic and afraid! I didn't want him to ask me questions I couldn't answer without breaking into tears! I didn't want to say goodbye! I had come trying to hide, but I had instead opened myself up to more vulnerability. I couldn't stay, now, I couldn't say goodbye. But I couldn't go back either, not to the world of bills and debts and packing!

For a second I wondered if I could somehow trap myself in the world between the two worlds. I could stay forever in the calming blue lights and stay away from both of the miserable worlds.

My eyes looked at him, then at the well. I knew he saw me calculating the distance he held between me and how fast I could get in the well. Again, I looked to him, then the well. It was now or never.

I swung my legs back over, without saying a word to the confused hanyou, and was about to jump when I heard him cry out.

"Kagome!" he jumped to my side and caught me as I started to fall. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing! You're bleeding!" He pulled me out easily from the well and placed me on the ground before it. I sank into a sitting position, and he crouched in front of me. I wanted to scream at him, to yell that he was a stupid jerk and that now this would be the last time I could ever see him, but I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him. Instead of yelling, I started crying again.

I turned away from him, knowing that he was going to panic from my hysterics. He _hated_ dealing with my tears, so I avoided his golden eyes—those eyes I adored so much—the eyes that were always staring at me with confusion, anger, hate, worry, and sometimes… well, a girl could dream about what _sometimes_ was. But as much as I yearned his embrace and to stare up into his eyes and tell him silently that I loved him, as I had done many times before, I was afraid of what his reaction would be. Does he truly hate me? Were his eyes holding disdain for me and the trouble I give him?

"Kagome? Kagome, what's wrong?" He asked me quietly. His voice was warm and reassuring, but I was sure it was just my imagination.

"Tell me," it was an order this time. Inuyasha expected me to spill. I had to turn now I had to see if he really cared. I looked up into his golden orbs with shinning, tearful eyes. He was worried about me. I could see it now.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, "You want to know what's wrong?"

He nodded solemnly. "Tell me, Kagome."

What could I tell him? That Mama and Grandpa were fighting because we were so far in debt that we had to sell the Shrine and move somewhere else? That I was a fool and coward and left my brother alone, when he was scared? That I ran away because I couldn't face the truth? That I had to say goodbye forever? That I was in love with Inuyasha and that he would never accept me for who I am? What the hell do I say?

I broke down; I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I was grateful for Inuyasha's warm hands as they gently, if hesitantly, pulled me into his chest. I suddenly didn't care what was true or fantasy—he was there for me and that was all I needed. I buried my face into his clothing and wrapped my arms around him in distress. "Inuyasha!" I yelled through my sobs. "I'm s-so scared!"

"Shhh, it's okay." Inuyasha whispered calmly, more clam than I had ever heard him before. "I'll protect you." He started to stroke my hair and I wondered if his mother had done that for him when he was little. Either way, I felt comfort rise in me as he said this and I pulled further into his embrace until I was practically sitting on him. I felt the cold melt away in his warmth as his arms wrapped tightly around me. We stayed like that for a few minutes until I stopped sobbing.

I felt safe with him. And being in his embrace felt so right, I just couldn't help but smile a little and cuddle closer. And for once, he didn't seem to mind we were so close; I might've imagine it, but it felt like he was drawing me closer too.

"Kagome?" He whispered. I shivered; his lips were millimeters from my ears, and I could feel his hot breath.

"Inuyasha?" I asked, wondering what he wanted. Couldn't he just let me enjoy his warmth for a few more minutes before he brought reality crashing back down on her?

"Please," he begged. "Tell me what's wrong. I'll hurt whatever bastard made you cry."

I almost giggled. He was as protective as ever. I glanced up at him from where I had laid my head on his shoulder. I felt him shift, and for a panicked moment I thought he was going to drop my out of his arms and take everything back, but instead he just adjusted me so that I was sitting on his lap, and leaning against his chest, comfortable and close. I relaxed into him.

"Mama and Grandpa…" I started, struggling against the stings in my eyes as I thought back to what had caused me so much distress in the first place. I drew from his warmth the strength to continue. I always felt I could do anything with him. "They were fighting. We have no more money and we have to move away."

She glanced up at Inuyasha; he continued to stare at her, obviously not understanding what she had meant. "We won't be living at the Shrine anymore. We're moving out of Tokyo. To live somewhere else."

He drew in a sharp breath with a hiss. He understood now.

"You're…leaving me?" Inuyasha asked, hurt evident in his voice.

I turned away from his face which held the expression of a whipped-dog. I buried my head in his now stiff shoulder. "I don't want to!" I cried.

"Then don't." He begged.

"I can't help it." I turned to him once again, tears streaming down my face once more. "We have no money, we can't live at the Shrine anymore!"

"Then stay with me." He urged. "You don't have to ever go back."

"No," I said, "That's not what I want." He turned sharply away. I felt him about to stand up, so I continued to explain in a panicked voice. "That's not what I meant, Inuyasha!" He didn't understand that my place was in _both_ worlds, so how could I explain? "I want to be with you Inuyasha and here in this Time…but I don't want to leave my Time either, or my family. I want to have both, can't you understand that? I don't want to move so I can continue to live how I've been living…With everyone I love." Mentally, I froze, realizing what I just said. Did he know that it was he whom I loved? A part of me hoped he did, but I was afraid of rejection.

I shook it off and turned to look up at him; his eyes looked distant. "Inuyasha?" I asked him hesitantly.

He snapped out of his infinite gaze and looked at me warmly. "You need money?"

"Yes," I said, not knowing where he was going with this, but I could tell he was thinking.

"Swords are valuable in your time. Old swords." He stated.

"Yes…" I answered, my brows furrowed as I realized something. "You can't give up Tetsaiga! I won't let you!" I tried to pull away to yell at him for being _too_ thoughtful. (That's a first!)

Inuyasha snorted. "Wench!" He raised his voice affectionately with the offensive term, at the same time as drawing me closer so I couldn't escape. I smiled at this and decided to let him. "I ain't gonna give up my sword! But we can find one, bury it, and in your time it'll be five hundred years older."

My eyes widened at the thought. "…And five hundred years more expensive." I whispered. Yes, swords were very expensive, and to have a sword from the feudal era…and if we somehow made it so it was in superb condition, then money wouldn't be a problem!

"Inuyasha!" I whispered loudly, and happily. I looked deep into his gold orbs, the last trace of my sadness, and even my doubt about Inuyasha, gone. I suddenly jumped out of his arms—not noticing his look of protest—and started dancing around. I was suddenly back to my old cheerful self, and I had good reason to.

"Thank you, Inuyasha!" I yelled and ran back over to the hanyou, who was now standing up with a pout on his face. I didn't notice the pout however, and kissed Inuyasha on the cheek in thanks.

Inuyasha blushed, and so did I when I realized what I did. My lips still tingled from coming in contact with his cheek. I looked away, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry." I muttered and looked away. Was I sorry? No, not really, but if Inuyasha didn't like me back… I didn't want to embarrass him.

When I looked back at Inuyasha, he was still watching me curiously. Then he smiled as if he figured something out. "Inuyasha?" I asked him.

"Get on," Inuyasha ordered, still smiling, as he turned to give me a piggy-back ride. "I need to get bandages from Kaede to fix your hands." I nodded, still confused about why he was smiling. Inuyasha _never_ smiles! Well, almost never. He urged me again to mount him (as _wrong_ as that sounds…), and I complied. I had forgotten about my hands during my hysterics, but now that nothing could distract me, they hurt like the dickens! I climbed onto his back and unconsciously snuggled into his back.

He looked off into the distance, smiling for some reason. "After that, we'll go find a sword."

And with that, Inuyasha and I were off, leaping toward a future much more bright than it had seemed only an hour ago.

_End_

_Hope you enjoyed._

_§ Sky's Song_


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